


Twelve Days of Jack

by Fancy_Ravenclaw



Category: Jack Maynard - Fandom, buttercream gang - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Christmas, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-14 20:59:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13016013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fancy_Ravenclaw/pseuds/Fancy_Ravenclaw
Summary: When Sarah is invited to casually hang out with her Friend With Benefits, Jack, and his group of friends, things suddenly get a lot more serious than she bargained for.





	1. December 14 (Day one)

**Author's Note:**

> This mini series all takes place in the run up to Christmas. Each chapter takes place the day it is uploaded.

Sarah was sat cross-legged on the sofa, cradling a cup of steaming tea in her hands, as she watched Jack make breakfast in the kitchen. For a friends-with-benefits situation, she felt she really had found herself a good deal; they genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, hung out for a bit after a night together, and didn’t get jealous when the other slept with someone else. She was getting to know his friends too, as there was rarely a moment during the day that Jack was alone. It was barely eleven and Mikey was already on his way over.

Mikey was nice enough, funny, and a pretty face too. Actually, all of Jack’s friends were good looking. Another advantage to her arrangement with him.

“What are you up to today?” She asked him casually.

“Not sure yet. Think I might be filming with Mikey and Josh, but who knows.” He dumped the scrambled eggs onto two plates and put the pan in the sink. “Joe was saying him and Byron are going Nando’s tonight, so I might join them.”

He handed her a plate and sank down on the sofa beside her. “What about you?”

“I’ve got a class on Pascal’s Triangle today at two.” She laughed when he groaned loudly. He could not wrap his head around her fascination with mathematics, just as she could not understand his inclination to record every aspect of his life. He’d tried to explain the appeal of ‘vlogging’ to her before, but she still preferred to keep her life to herself. Still, it was up to him what he chose to do with his, and apparently his choice was working out quite well for him; at least financially.

The doorbell rang and Jack got up to let Mikey in. Sarah’s eyes followed him around the room as he walked. He was beautiful. Objectively and subjectively. His deep blue eyes, perfectly messy hair, strong arms, and that damn nose ring. Sometimes she regretted that she would one day have to give him up to someone else. Someone he’d actually love and who loved him back. Mostly she was just grateful for the fact that for now, she was the person who regularly got to make out with him and trace the lines of his tattoos with her fingertips.

Mikey was a beacon of energy, bouncing around the room from the moment he entered. He helped himself to some bacon off the counter as he rambled about his gym session from that morning and how he was trying to get healthy. Sarah kind of zoned out, mentally packing her bag for university later that day, trying to figure out where she left her notebook, until she heard her name. “Sorry?”

“Come to Winter Wonderland with us.” Mikey repeated.

Sarah and Jack exchanged looks. Sure, they’d been hanging out for months now and she’d hung out with his friends plenty too, but up until this point all their meetings had been centred around sex. They had never hung out just for the fun of it.

“Yeah, maybe.” She said. “When?”

“Tomorrow. Were you even listening?”

“No.” She admitted. “I’m listening now, though. Who’s going?”

“Well, Jack and me, obviously, Joe, Byron, Josh, Caspar… Will said he’d see if he could make it too.”

“Right, yeah. I’ll see if I have time.” She smiled as she got to her feet. “I’ve got to go now, I have a class to get to. I’ll get back to you about Winter Wonderland later, okay?”

“Yeah totally. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

There was really no need for her to leave this early. Taking the Underground home to get her school stuff and then walking to her seminar would altogether take her less than an hour and it was barely half eleven. As Jack walked her to the hallway he told her as much, in a hushed tone.

“We’re not really friends, Jack. We’re… I don’t know. Something else. We both know that without the sex we would not be hanging out.”

He shrugged, “We could.”

She laughed half heartily.

“Seriously, we don’t have to just keep fucking, we can be friends, you know?”

“Are you saying you’d want to be around me even if we didn’t fuck?”

“Well, the sex is also fun.”

She squeezed his shoulder, “I’ll text you, okay?”

The hallway was empty when she stepped out, and the cold hit her right away. December was exceptionally cold this year, and it had had some of the earliest snow she’d probably ever seen. She zipped up her coat and gave Jack one quick last smile before she took off.

\--

Jack texted her during her seminar, but she dropped her phone into her bag without reading it. She hadn’t gotten into London UC by letting boys distract her, and she had no intent of changing her regime. If she did want to focus on boys she had plenty to choose from in the exact room she was in; no need to go messing with someone with a complicated rep like Jack. As if on cue, the boy next to her chose that exact moment to lean in close and ask her a question about their assignment.

\--

She finally checked her messages when she said goodbye to her friend James, who had to take a left where she took a right, about a hundred yards from her hall.

Jack: _I worded it a bit weirdly this morning, but if you want to come to WW with us that’s cool w me._

Sarah: _It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just that I don’t want to make things weird between us you know_

Jack: _Don’t think it’ll make things weird. It’s FRIENDS with benefits after all_


	2. December 15 (Day Two)

Sarah had a 9AM seminar and stuck around in a study area to get some homework done. She would stay there until Jack and his friends picked her up around two so they could all go to Winter Wonderland together. It was quiet in the room, apart from the occasional cough and the uninterrupted typing of a boy a few tables over, and when her phone buzzed in her bag and broke the silence she scrambled to get her hands on it to make it shut up. A few people shot her annoyed glances and she gave them what she hoped was an apologetic smile. It was a message from Kailee.

The night before, after dinner, the two girls had sat in Kailee’s room together, discussing the whole thing again. Sarah had shown her best friend pictures of Jack to judge, which had naturally led to Kailee telling a story about a boy she’d slept with a few times the year before. She had broken it off when the boy tried to get serious, even though he was a sweet guy. “There was just no connection”, Kailee had explained. Sarah wasn’t sure what to make of that. Here her friend was, trying to get her to give Jack a chance, while she herself hadn’t done the same thing. Then again, Jack and she did have a connection of sorts. She enjoyed spending time with him and liked hearing about the things that kept him occupied, and he was a good listener who also made her breakfast.

The text she’d just received was some meme to which Sarah replied with an emoji. Just as she was about to put her phone back in her backpack, a new text came in. This time from Jack.

_We’re about to leave. Have to pick Mikey up along the way because the lazy fuck refuses to walk, but we’ll be there in 25 mins or so_

Twenty-five minutes was plenty of time to get some more work done, but now that her mind had drifted to Jack it was hard to get it back onto linear algebra. Eventually she gave up on trying, shoved all her stuff in her bag, and went outside, where she sat down on a low fence surrounding the bicycle parking area.

“Hey, Sarah.”

Sarah turned around to see Ryan, one of her housemates, put his bike in a stand and walk up to her. “Are you coming out with us tonight? Celebrate Nick’s friend’s birthday?”

“Nick’s friend?” Sarah looked amused. “Do we even know this friend?”

“No, but it’s a good excuse to party.”

She checked her watch, as though that would give her answers, and then nodded, “I think so. No promises, though.”

“Cool, we’re doing pre-drinks in Ella’s room at about eleven and then we’ll head out whenever.”

“Save me a beer.”

He laughed, “Will do, Sares. See you around.”

She said goodbye to him and hopped off the fence. No one had told her how long they’d be staying at Winter Wonderland for, let alone whether they would be going out after. Knowing Jack, they probably would. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted her friends to meet Jack. It seemed to serious, even though she also knew his friends. It was complicated.

\--

There was a single spot saved for her in the car; wedged between Josh and Conor in the backseat. Jack and Mikey were sat in the front, babbling about whatever it was that those two boys found interesting. She tossed her bag in the boot of the car and climbed over Conor to get to her seat.

“How was geometry?”

“My lecture wasn’t on geometry, but it was alright. Thanks.”

Conor seemed to have an easy time chatting to whoever about whatever, whenever. She’d noticed this the first time she’d met him, when she realised after half an hour that she’d been talking to this complete stranger for a full 30 minutes without it getting at all awkward, and now that she was tuned into it she was always on the lookout for his tricks. Having someone explain something to him seemed to be one of his top choices for conversation starters.

Despite the fact that she knew how he worked, she still took the bait and explained some things about probability to him during the drive to Winter Wonderland.

\--

Finding a parking space at a large festival is always a hassle, but Sarah had never seen anything as bad as this. They drove around for almost half an hour before Jack finally spotted a car pulling out of a spot and immediately jumped on it. By that time the car had gotten nice and warm, and getting out of it was horrible. Sarah zipped her coat up as far as it would go and retrieved her bobble hat from her bag before they left the parking lot.

By the entrance of the park they met Joe, Byron and Will, who had taken a bus, which in hindsight would’ve been a better idea than this whole car ordeal.

“Finally. We’ve been here so long, Joe’s grown a beard.” Byron complained.

“Looks more like pubes on his face to me.” Jack responded.

Joe’s stubble could hardly be called a beard, but it looked good on him. It framed his face and made him look mature, which, if you knew him, maybe didn’t suit him that well.

As soon as they entered the grounds, Sarah spotted a drop-tower. Her absolute favourite ride in any theme park. “Can we go on there?” She asked, trying to play it cool. This genuine hangout with Jack’s friends still felt weird to her and she was unsure of how to behave. Was she supposed to keep to the background or act like one of the guys? Fortunately, the others the others didn’t seem to mind her presence at all.

Will immediately said he’d go with her, and after some convincing Jack, Conor and Byron agreed to go too.

She ended up, how could she not, next to Jack, who was nervously eyeing the tall structure from the queue. “You okay?” She asked him.

“Not a fan of heights.” He responded.

“If I recall correctly, you dangled off a pretty high building during I’m a Celeb.”

He laughed, “Ah yeah, my only trial. Didn’t have a good time. I heard that it was cut down a lot in the episode, ‘cause I must’ve been up on that stupid plank for at least fifteen minutes.”

“Toff totally outdid you on that one.”

“Well, if I’d actually done any other trials I know she would’ve outdone me on those too.”

“The ones with the spiders?”

“Every single one. Except for maybe the eating. I think I could do that.”

It was their turn to get on the ride. Jack doublechecked his safety belts, and then checked them again. Just for good measure.

“You know you don’t have to do this right?”

“Bit late for that now.” He responded. “Feel my heartbeat.”

She reached out and placed two fingers on the side of his throat. His heart was pounding away as if he was running a marathon untrained. “Sorry for dragging you into this, but it’ll be fun. I promise.”

“Yeah, if we don’t die.”

“You’re such a drama queen.” She laughed. She dropped her hand and he grabbed it before she could put it to rest on her safety harness. He was shaking a bit – poor guy- and squeezing her hand as if his life depended on it. To him, it probably did.

The ride started moving, slowly gaining height. Jack closed his eyes. Usually Sarah would use the ride up to enjoy the view, but this time she couldn’t look away from Jack. When they were together, they were either having sex or just chilling. She had never seen him experience any negative emotions, and the fear on his face was piteous, but also cute.

“You’re okay.” She said. He shook his head but didn’t respond.

On her other side, Conor and Will were joking around, clearly out of nervousness, pretending to undo each other’s safety harnesses.

She used to be afraid of heights too, when she was younger, but when she was seven years old her brother persuaded her to go on a drop-tower with her and it had done away with her fear at once. The elation she felt during the drop completely diminished any kind of unease she felt. She’d gone on the ride eleven times that day.

The most dreadful part was when the ride stopped at the top and you had to sit and wait until you would inevitably come crashing down. “Do you want to look at the view?” She asked Jack when they were there.

“No, I want to die.” He said.

“I thought you were afraid of dying. Isn’t that the whole point of a fear of heights?”

He was quiet for a moment. “Shut up.”

When the drop finally came, she was surrounded by screams. Jack let go off her hand to grab onto his harness as he screamed his lungs out with his eyes still tightly shut.

The wait and the way upwards were always endlessly long compared to the actual fall, which lasted eight seconds max. Sarah undid her harness and jumped to her feet, “You coming?”

Jack stayed put for a few seconds, catching his breath and trying to calm his heart down. “I’m never doing that again. You can’t make me.”

She laughed, “I won’t. I’m sorry.” She started to undo his harness for him and eventually he raised his hands to help her out.

Behind them, Conor was dramatically prancing around like he was ten beers deep into a night out and struggling to stay right side up, while Byron was steadying himself on the barrier around the ride.

“How are you okay? That was a nightmare.” Will exclaimed.

“I’ve been on this ride more times than I can count.” She said. “These things can’t scare me anymore.”

Jack finally got out of his seat when the operators went around to see if anyone needed help with their safety belts. “Let’s go do something fun now. Like a rollercoaster.”

As if high speeds were less scary when they were horizontal.

\--

Two rollercoasters, eight hotdogs, and thirty-seven pounds wasted on claw machines later, they were strolling towards a Christmas market. Jack was a few yards ahead of her, walking with Josh and Conor, while she lagged behind with Mikey.

It was getting close to five, and they had already decided they would be going to Nando’s after the market. They were going out tonight, too, and had acted disappointed when Sarah said she wouldn’t be joining them. She really didn’t get these people. Were they just so laidback that they didn’t care whom they hung out? Or did they really want her around? Was it normal for Jack to bring his flings with him on friend group outings? He wasn’t making things any clearer on her.

\--

“Have fun tonight.”

“You too.”

“Maybe we’ll run into each other somewhere.”

“Not if I can help it.” They both laughed and she kissed his cheek, “Bye, Jack.”

“Bye bye.”

He’d given her a ride back to her hall, the gentleman, and was now taking his friends back to his own place for pre-drinks.

It was shortly after ten when she finally walked into the TV room, where most of her corridor was gathered to watch The Hangover.

“She’s alive! Did that boy keep you occupied?” Amber called.

Sarah groaned, “Kailee told you?”

The accused gave her a guilty look.

“I should’ve known.” Sarah laughed, tossed her coat and bag on the floor and sank onto one of the couches. “Yeah, he’s keeping me busy.”

“Is this the boy you said you were ‘casually making love to’?” Tommaso asked.

“Yeah.”

“Not so casual anymore?”

“That’s the problem. I don’t know.”

“Sam and I started out ‘just sex’ first. We all know how that turned out.” Ella had been with her girlfriend for two years and had told Sarah from the start that Friends With Benefits never came without complications. Sarah had told her she’d prove her wrong back then, but she was turning out to be right.

Fortunately, the others took this as their cue to all start talking about their own love lives, and Sarah gladly took this opportunity to get out of the conversation and talk about the boy Vada had been dating instead.

\--

Sarah and Kailee spent the night playing a game to see who could kiss the most boys, so she could get her mind off Jack.

She won, with four against three.


	3. December 16 (Day Three)

At ten forty-five, a persistent knocking on the door woke Sarah from a deep sleep. She groaned, mumbled something along the lines of “go away”, and rolled onto her side.

“Dungeons and Dragons in fifteen. Be there or be square.” 

She heard Kailee’s footsteps take off down the hall. Eleven on Saturday mornings meant that from all around campus people showed up in their TV room to play Dungeons and Dragons all day. Kailee had set this up three weeks into their first year and Sarah had only missed maybe five Saturdays so far. She was tempted to make this the sixth, but decided a hangover was not a good enough reason and forced herself to throw off the covers and put on jeans.

By the time she walked into the TV room with a croissant and a glass of orange juice seven people were sat waiting for her.

“Sorry.” She muttered as she sat down in the first empty seat she could find.

The day went by quickly as their campaign took on orcs in a cave and went on a quest to find a dragon. Sarah finally levelled up her character again after almost two months, and she didn’t even realise she hadn’t touched her phone yet that day when they started putting away their papers and books at four fifty. 

She couldn’t find it, so it was probably still in her room. She helped Kailee put away the game stuff in boxes and shove them under the couch before going upstairs to look for it. 

The device was in the pocket of the jeans she’d worn the day before and the battery was dead. No surprise there.

When she plugged it into the charger and booted it up she immediately received multiple messages. Some from her mum, one from her brother, two from a friend from secondary school, and one from Jack.

Jack: _Hey, did you survive your night out alright?_

Sarah: _Yeah doing alright here. You?_

Jack: _Yeah I pulled ;)_

She didn’t want it to bother her, but it did. She couldn’t help but wonder if Jack would introduce this girl to his friends too and if he made her breakfast this morning. 

Sarah: _Proud of u_

\--

During dinner that night he sent her another text, inviting her to come out with him and his friends that night, but she made up an excuse about still being sick from the night before. Kailee noticed her mood and offered to watch Scorpion, her favourite show, with her that night. 

“I thought you didn’t feel anything for him?” She asked as they settled down on her bed with Kailee’s laptop.

“I thought so too. But now the thought of him being with someone else makes me feel sick. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to this.”

“You can’t change how you feel, Sare. Maybe your heart has realised he’s not as much of a fuckboy as you thought, but your head has yet to catch up.”

Sarah sighed, “Maybe. Let’s not talk about him tonight. Let’s just watch Scorpion, drink tea, and swoon over Walter O’Brien.”


	4. December 17 (Day Four)

On the one hand she really wanted to know whether Jack had had another one-night-stand that night, but on the other hand she knew that she would feel like crap for the rest of the day if he said he had. 

She waited until two in the afternoon to text him.

Sarah: _How was your night out?_

Jack: _So good!! Sad u missed it though. Feeling better today?_

Sarah: _Yeah much better thanks_

Jack: _Good. Wanna come round tonight? ;)_

His invitation could mean that he didn’t get laid the night before and was looking to make up for that, but then again, Jack definitely didn’t mind getting it on multiple times a day.

Sarah: _Sure. Did your sad ass not get a girl last night? ;)_

Jack: _lol no I didn’t thanks for asking_

She wasn’t sure why this made her feel better. Jack was just someone she had sex with sometimes. She needed to get her dumb feelings in check and stop pining after him.

She purposely left her phone in her room when she went to the TV room to do homework.

\--

At 9PM Sarah took a bus to Jack’s place. He’d offered to pay for an Uber, but that would make it feel even more like a bootycall so she had politely declined. Fortunately the bus wasn’t crowded and she found a seat by the window where she sat quietly for the duration of the ride. This would be the first time they’d have sex since the Winter Wonderland ordeal, and she was nervous that something might have changed between them. She did feel like something had changed. They were closer now; more like friends than they had been before.

The first thing she noticed when he opened the door was the fact that he was wearing his nose ring again, which he hadn’t done in a while.

He grinned when she pointed it out, “I know you like it. Dug it up from the bottom of my jewellery case just for you.”

“You’re just trying to get yourself laid.” She joked.

He nodded and laughed.

His rouse still worked though.

She had him with his back against the wall within five minutes of coming in, kissing him and running her hands over his soft body. That damn nose ring worked every time, and that grey hoodie with the flowers that looked so fucking good on him wasn’t helping. 

He seemed pleased with himself.

She dragged him to his bedroom and he lost his hoodie and T shirt somewhere along the way, discarded on the floor. 

“It’s been too long.” He said breathlessly.

“It’s been four days, you horny fuck.”

He laughed as she pushed him onto the bed.

“Plus, you had some fun in between. I didn’t. This should really be my party.”

“You are free to make it your party. Please do.”

And so she did. 

“Strip.” She demanded. He gladly did as he was told and lay himself back down on the bed afterwards.

She loved how he looked at her when she was in control. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, watching her every move to figure out what she’d do next and begging for more just with his looks. 

She straddled him, pinning his hands above his head, and started kissing him. Starting at his mouth she soon drifted to his neck and throat, then onto his chest where she left small red marks with her teeth. As she lowered, her hands could no longer reach his, but he kept his arms above his head even when she was no longer keeping them there. 

She stopped at his abdomen, sitting up to take in the sight in front of her. He was out of breath, chin tilted up to expose his throat. She made good use of that, by leaning back down and leaving some marks on his throat that she knew would fade quickly enough that he wouldn’t be bothered by them. When she was satisfied, she got off the bed and undid her jeans, pulling them down and kicking them off.

He knew what was coming, scrambling to his knees to accommodate her. When she lied down, he immediately got between her legs. She held her hand over the back of his head, holding him down the whole time, until she realised he was reaching down to touch himself. She grabbed his hair and gave a small tug on it, “Hands down.” She ordered. He made a soft noise and put his hand back onto her leg.

“Good boy.”

She loved to tease him, making him so desperate he would beg for just a touch. He was nearly there, she noted when she had him lie down on his back. His hands clutched at the bed sheets and precum was dripping onto his stomach. 

At this point she’d been teasing him for about twenty minutes, so she figured he’d waited long enough now. She wrapped her fingers around his dick and started moving so slowly it made him dizzy.

Finally, she leaned down and licked along his length, and then took him into her mouth. His entire body tensed up but he didn’t move, apart from his hips, which stuttered a little at the pleasure.

 

She continued bobbing her head up and down until he was trembling and making desperate noises, indicating he was close to coming. As she raised her head she ran her fingertips over his abdomen, “How are you doing over there, Jack?”

“Fine.” He muttered.

He had his eyes closed, but opened them when he felt her get off the bed, “Where you going?” His speech was slurred, high on anticipation.  
“Just getting a condom, relax.” 

 

He did as he was told, putting his head back on the pillow.

She rolled a condom onto him with expert ease and then coated it with some extra lube.

His hands lowered a bit so he could tangle his fingers in his own hair, watching intently as she straddled his hips and held him by the base of his cock. His eyes rolled back when she pushed him into herself.

Neither of them lasted very long once she started moving, Sarah coming first and Jack following right after when she tensed around him. He let out a moan that she broke off by pressing her lips to his.

They both winced when Sarah got off him, and Jack lay still for a bit while he caught his breath.

When he opened his eyes again, she was offering him a glass of water. He sat up and took it.  
“Thanks.”

“No problem. You alright?”

“I’m great, yeah.”

She couldn’t help herself; she leant in and pressed a kiss to his sweaty hair.

“Nobody can live up to this.” He whispered, loud enough for her to hear.

“To what?”

He motioned vaguely, “This. Sex.”

“Oh, your one-night-stands won’t tie you to the bed?”

“None of them have, so far.” He said, laughing.

While she was cleaning herself up in the bathroom she strongly considered leaving and never coming back. Those sweet smiles and fondly spoken words Jack gave her were getting to her head; she was trying to get to terms with liking him while also trying to stop herself from doing just that. He was confusing as hell and taking up way too much space in her head.


	5. December 18 (Day Five)

The moment the alarm started playing, Sarah’s hand shot underneath her pillow to silence it. Jack, a deep sleeper, barely stirred at the sound. She quietly got dressed and shoved yesterday’s clothes into her backpack before slipping out of the bedroom. Last night’s wine glasses were still on the coffee table, abandoned in favour of sleep around midnight. She put them in the sink, grabbed a banana and a glass of water, and quickly had her improvised breakfast leaned against the kitchen counter.

She had a slight headache but wasn’t sure whether it was from the wine, the lack of sleep, or the worries. Maybe all of the above.

By the time Jack woke up she was long gone.

\--

She came home at three, after four hours of classes and two hours of group meetings and homework, and fell down onto the sofa right away without bothering to take off her shoes.

When Kailee came in she was half asleep, and being the good friend that she was Kailee merely moved her backpack out of the way and plopped down next to her, careful not to disturb her.

Sarah opened one eye, “Is that you, Kai?”

“Yeah, you okay?”

“Excellent.”

“Did you see that picture I tagged you in on Facebook?”

Sarah laughed and opened her other eye too, “No.” She responded, sitting up and getting her phone out.

It was one of those dumb pictures that claimed that a person with some letter in their name had to do something for the person who tagged them, and in this case a person with an A in their name had to take the other person for ‘a cheeky Nando’s’. 

“I was thinking we could have a date night tonight, just the two of us and some chicken.” Kailee explained.

“Sounds incredible. I’m in.”

Sarah was too tired to focus on any more school work, so they spent the afternoon on that sofa while Gilmore Girls played on the TV and Kailee attempted to type up an essay but kept getting distracted by their chatter. 

Their Nando’s date was a success. They talked about their plans for Christmas, the new season of Modern Family, and finals, and Sarah didn’t even think about Jack until Kailee asked her about him.

“I don’t know what his deal is yet.” She admitted.

“During class today I was thinking about what we discussed the other day, that if he wanted you to come to Winter Wonderland there must be something in it for him, and that you think he’s just in it for the sex, yeah?”

“Yes, and?”

“And, I think you should say no to sex sometime. See what he does and if he still wants you to hang around. I feel like their response to being turned down for sex says a lot about a person.”

“We’re friends with benefits. Sex is our whole deal.”

“You don’t invite your FWB to come hang out with you and your friends. I think you can figure out what the hell he wants from you this way.”

Sarah reluctantly agreed to try it before hastily changing the topic.


	6. December 19 (Day Six)

When she texted him if he wanted to watch a movie that evening she wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he said yes. She had lunch while doing homework so she’d have time to get a head start on an essay that was due soon, and she managed to get it done in time to make it to Jack’s apartment by eight that night. 

He was wearing some grey joggers and eating some Pringles when she arrived. “I thought you were trying to be healthy?” She asked as she hung her coat over a kitchen chair. 

He shrugged, “Potatoes are healthy.”

The Netflix homepage was already open on the TV screen and she approached it to read her options. 

“See anything you like?” He asked, following closely behind her.

“A Christmas Prince is supposed to be good.”

“Extremely sappy would be a better way to describe it.” 

“So not that one?”

“I didn’t say that. I was just pointing out what I read online.”

“Well, I for one, would love to watch a dumb sappy Christmas movie. It’s the season, after all.”

“Sure.” He got them both some tea and they settled on the sofa with a blanket over their legs.

\--

He turned out to be right about the film, which was one big cliché wrapped up in Christmas-y wrapping paper, but Sarah loved every second of it. Jack appeared to enjoy it too, even smiling at the romantic parts. “You’re loving this.” Sarah grinned, poking his cheek at a particularly sweet scene.

“It’s not a crime to love chickflicks.” He said, “What can I say, I’m a romantic man.”

She laughed, “Oh yeah, you’re a real romantic.”

“Excuse me? Roll back the attitude. It’s like a cold fucking December evening and we’re watching a Christmas movie with a blanket. How much more romantic can we get?”

“Candles.”

He rolled his eyes, “Oh yeah, I’ll get you some candles next time. Some rose petals maybe.”

“I’m swooning.”

\--

They started kissing as the end credits played. Sarah was getting nervous now, knowing that she was going to turn him down in a few minutes and that she had no idea what his reaction would be.

She let him slip his hands under her shirt, but when he started fumbling with her belt she stopped him, softly pushing him off her, “Not today.” She whispered.

“No Netflix and chill?” He asked.

“Only in the PG sense of the word ‘chill’.”

“Too bad.” He grinned. And then, to her surprise, he got up and asked, “Want more tea?”

“Sure.”

She watched him go off to the kitchen and return a few minutes later with two mugs of tea and a packet of mince pies under his arm. “Thought you might like these.” He said as he set them down.

“I love those.” She responded, still a bit stunned.

“So I suggest we watch a more sophisticated movie now, something like Barbie.”

She laughed, “I understand, that’s the most difficult movie your little brain can comprehend.”

“Touché.”

She nibbled on a mince pie while he scrolled through the films. She’d kind of expected him to be fine with no sex, but she hadn’t expected him to be this fine. He’d responded as though she’d turned down one of his suggestions for a movie rather than a suggestion to do the thing their relationship was basically built upon. He didn’t appear to be questioning why she had even come that day if she didn’t want to have sex.

\--

After the second film, they made out for a while and he mostly kept his hands to himself; he didn’t try to initiate sex again. She ran her hands through his soft hair and smiled against his lips, “This was fun. We should do this again sometime.” She whispered.

“Sure.” He responded. “Would you like to go ice-skating tomorrow?”

She pulled back from him a bit, surprised, “Ice-skating?”

“Yeah, at Winter Wonderland.”

“Yeah, alright. Who else is going?”

“No one, just us. I thought it might be fun.”

“Like a date?” It was only half a joke, but he laughed so she laughed along.

“Yeah, it’ll be super romantic. I’ll bring candles.”

She kissed him again to shut him up.


	7. December 20 (Day Seven)

Having learnt their lesson from the previous trip to Winter Wonderland, they took a bus this time. Jack clearly didn’t do this very often, fumbling with his Oyster card when they got on and acting genuinely surprised when there was no place for them to sit.

“This is how the normal public travels, Jack.” Sarah told him, grabbing onto a pole.

“I could get used to this.” He responded. He awkwardly grabbed one of the loops above his head to hold to steady himself. “I’ve taken buses before, you know. Just not in London.”

“You’re loyal to Uber.”

“Exactly. Uber and my own car.”

\--

By the time they needed to get off the bus Jack had of course forgotten where he had put his Oyster, so he stood there patting all his pockets until he realised he’d put it in his phone case, grinning awkwardly at the annoyed looking bus driver.

“Lead the way.” Sarah told him when they got out.

He offered her his arm, and although she was a bit surprised by it, she hooked her own through his and followed him. 

“Have you ice-skated before?” He asked.

“Yeah, my grandparents used to take me and my brother skating every year during Winter.”

“So I’m at a disadvantage here?”

She laughed, “You can’t ice-skate?”

“I mean I’ve done it like once before. Wouldn’t say I’m a natural.”

“Ah, I’d love to see that. Why did you even suggest this?”

“To be honest, I was hoping we could be bad at it together. I did not think this through.”

“I’ll pretend to be bad, if you want. Use one of those penguin things for children.”

“You can be my penguin.” He winked and she playfully hit his arm.

\--

They had to rent some skates as neither of them owned a pair, and as they sat tying them under Jack was already laughing softly at what was to come. “You think I look ridiculous now? Wait till I try to stand up.” 

She watched as he got to his feet, wobbling unsteadily on the thin pieces of metal. 

“You’re doing just fine.” She said encouragingly, getting up herself.

“Race you to the rink.” He said suddenly, attempting to run away on his skates but only really succeeding in making a fool of himself.

Sarah laughed and let him shuffle ahead, following closely behind him.

He set a tentative step onto the ice, moving his foot back and forth a bit to see how slippery it was, and then setting his other foot forward too, tightly holding on to the barrier. 

“How’s that?” She asked as she joined him.

“Alright.” He responded. He pulled himself over the ice along the fence for a bit before carefully letting go and pushing himself onto the track. “I’ve got this.” 

He started slow, but quickly picked up a rhythm and soon enough they were skating laps together. 

He looked cute, Sarah had to admit, with his nose red from the cold, his scarf wrapped tightly around him and his hat pulled so far down she couldn’t even see his eyebrows. He was in utmost concentration, gently biting his lower lip and narrowing his eyes. She could see herself falling head over heels in love with this boy and was afraid that was exactly what she was doing, even though she was supposed to only be sexually attracted to him. He was just too sweet and cute and funny to only want to fuck; she also wanted to cuddle him while they fell asleep and kiss his forehead before she left the bed. She wanted him to be the one she came to when she was upset and the person who brought her tea when she was so busy she forgot to take care of herself. She wanted every part of him and it was scary to admit, even to herself. 

His proud smile when he skated towards her was almost too much. She grinned back at him and couldn’t resist pulling him in for a kiss. 

“Maybe I’m a natural after all.” He beamed.

“Race you around the track?”

He didn’t even respond, eager to get a head start on her. She quickly followed him, tapping the back of his head when she passed him. “Years of experience.” She shouted.

“You’re lucky it’s too dangerous to trip you up or rugby tackle you.” He said, completely out of breath, when they met at the finish.

“Of course you would play dirty.”

“Says the person who challenged me to a race even though this is only the second time I’ve ice-skated.”

She laughed and pulled him in for another kiss.

\--

When Jack had both of his feet back in his shoes he dramatically stood up and pranced around, “Sweet, steady floor. How I’ve missed you.”

She rolled her eyes but laughed. 

\--

They got hot chocolates at a stall and tried to warm their cold fingers by wrapping their hands tightly around the cups. They looked like a couple, huddled together on a bench, chatting with their heads close together and smiles on their faces. Sarah almost felt like they actually were.

Jack was rambling on about a video he’d filmed with Joe that morning, telling her how funny it’d been and how badly he’d lost some challenge to him. His happy laugh more than anything drew her in, making her hang on to every word he said.

“I’m filming again tomorrow, with Josh and Conor I think, but plans might change. We’re not too good at sticking to plans but in this case that doesn’t matter much. Mikey’s probably coming around too because he gets sick when he’s not been near me for three hours.”

“Aw, don’t be mean.” 

“The guy’s like attached to me. I love him though. Don’t tell him that, he’ll never shut up about it.”

“I’m sure he knows.”

“Yeah, but I’m a cool guy, I’m not supposed to say that.”

“Fragile masculinity and all.”

“Exactly. People might start thinking I have feelings, which I don’t.”

“Obviously.”

“Obviously.”

\--

They went back to Jack’s place after that, ordering Dominos in and watching some crappy reality TV show that neither of them was really paying attention to. In between bites they talked about everything and nothing, from funny stories to family issues to favourite films.

Sarah even invited him to come to a Dungeons and Dragons game sometime, just to check it out. She didn’t have to ask Kailee; she knew she’d be cool with it. More than cool, even. Kailee was dying to meet Jack and judge him for herself.

By the end of the night, after a few glasses of wine, she suggested she should get home, and although he pulled a pouty face he didn’t object. He hadn’t tried anything with her all night, even though they’d definitely kissed more than enough to give him the opportunity to do so. 

“See you later.” She told him at the door, leaning in to kiss him goodbye.

“I’ll walk downstairs with you.” He said. He quickly put on a random pair of shoes and followed her outside.

“You don’t have to. It’s cold.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” 

He took her hand as they walked to the lift. “This was a fun day.” 

“Yeah, it was.” She smiled at him, “We should do this more often.”

“I agree.”

When her Uber drove up he finally let go of her hand, but he gave her a final quick kiss before he did so, “See you.”

“See you.” 

She gave him a quick wave before getting in the car.


	8. December 21 (Day Eight)

Sarah used Thursday to catch up on some schoolwork, sat on one side of her bed with Kailee on the other. By the time she returned from her seminar Kailee was still there, now joined by Ryan and Ella, and all homework abandoned.  
She laughed when she entered the room. “What are you guys all doing here?”

“Nick’s hoarding the TV room with his other friends.” Ryan responded.

Nick was originally from London and in regular contact with his friends from secondary school. Sarah knew a few who came around often, but mostly she just greeted them politely when she ran into one of them in their corridor, and assumed he was with Nick. Probably not the best system security-wise, but so far it had not yet come back to bite them in the ass.

“We were just saying we want to go see Justice League tonight, do you want to come with?”

“Yeah, sounds fun.” Sarah kicked off her shoes and sank down on the floor with Ryan, as her spot on the bed had been taken by Ella. “We all going?”

“Yeah, even Nick.” 

“You can bring Jack, if you want.” Kailee offered.

Sarah immediately shook her head, “I’ve been spending loads of time with him recently. I need some quality time with my friends.”

As if on cue, her phone chimed the moment she said that. And of course it was Jack.

Jack: _What’s up_

“That’s him, isn’t it?” Ryan smirked, “I can see it on your face.”

“Aw, Sarah has a crush.”

“I might.” Sarah responded, laughing.

Sarah: _Hanging out w some friends. You?_

Jack: _Same. Doing a vid for Josh’s channel. I was right btw, Mikey did show up_

Sarah: _As if you mind_

Jack: _Just proving a point lol he’s like sewed to my back_

Sarah: _Kailee and I are sewed together as well jack, that’s what best friends are for. Mikey’s your bff_

Jack: _Don’t ever mention that near him he will start referring to me as his bff_

Sarah: _let me guess.. that would damage the emotionless image youre trying to portray?_

Jack: _Exactly. You get it_

When Sarah looked up, her friends were engrossed in a conversation about some actor and it took her a few seconds of listening to realise it was about Johnny Depp.

“This guy straight-up kicked the shit out of someone and as a reward we give him a main part in a movie that’s set to be super successful.” 

“Our dumb patriarchal society keeps on allowing toxic people to be successful, it’s gross.”

Sarah put her phone down, joining in on the conversation.

\--

They walked out of the theatre still in a lively debate about the movie. Vada and Kailee were both very into comics and were discussing the storylines in the comics, while Sarah and the others casually talked about what they liked about the movie. Ryan wasn’t too pressed; satisfied simply because there was plenty of action, and Tommaso just came to watch Wonder Woman so he didn’t really care much for the rest of the film.

Sarah herself came mostly to hang out with her friends. The movie itself was fun enough, but she most liked sharing a huge box of popcorn and joking around during the break.

When she turned off Airplane mode on her phone she immediately received some messages from Jack, asking her about her plans for Christmas.

Despite the fact that she had been trying to tell herself that they were just Friends With Benefits and she needed to stop falling in love with him, she couldn’t stop herself from being pulled into another conversation with him.


	9. December 22 (Day Nine)

When Sarah arrived, the party was already in full swing. Jack had told her not to call it a party because ‘we’re just doing drinks at Joe and Byron’s’, but by the look of things it was more of a party. A casual one, but nonetheless a party.

She was late, having watched a movie with Kailee and Amber before coming, but no one seemed to mind her tardiness. She was immediately invited to join a game of Beer Pong by the losing team, consisting of Joe and Caspar, to take on Jack and Conor. 

Some rap song was playing loudly from the speakers at the back of the room and the beer was already getting to the members of her team, so it was hard to understand what they were saying. It was probably something along the lines of “kick their arses”, judging by their smug faces. 

She was good at beer pong. She had played it plenty back in secondary school and had been her friend group’s wild card every time, knocking entire rounds of boys out as she rarely missed. This time was no exception; she picked up the ball and effortlessly got it into one of the red cups. The boys cheered and Jack picked up the cup, tossed Conor the ball and chugged the drink while his friends egged him on.

Conor missed, was followed by Joe, who also missed, but then Jack got it in. “Go on then, Sarah.” He said, grinning like he was challenging her. As if that was a challenge. As if there was any chance she wouldn’t go all in.

She tossed him the ball and finished the cup of beer all in one quick swig. “Give me something better, Maynard.”

\--

With Sarah on their side the team started to pull the game back in their favour. She watched Jack and Conor get more and more drunk, while they’d been mostly sober when she’d arrived. Joe and Caspar each had a drink, but Jack and Conor kept missing after that. Her own team only had two cups left on their side, while the brothers on the other side had three cups standing. A well-aimed throw from her made that two. 

Conor drank the beer and proceeded to throw the ball straight at Joe’s face.

“Dude, our shot!” Jack punched his shoulder.

“Was worth it to get that smug look off his face.” Conor said.

There really had been no need to try and put Joe off his game, as he missed in a manner that was almost comical. 

Caspar was a bit better, narrowing his eyes in concentration and hitting the left cup.

When Jack hit the next cup too, it got serious. They both had one left and the atmosphere hung tensely around them.

Sarah picked up the ball, rubbed it on her jumper for good luck, and threw. 

It made an awkward bounce of the side of the cup and kept them all waiting just a second too long, but then it popped in and Joe and Caspar erupted in cheering. An already way drunk Jack took the cup and poured its contents down his throat without bothering to take out the ball, which proceeded to fall onto his face. 

“An honorary shot for today’s queen of beer pong.” Conor offered her a shot glass of what looked like whiskey, and she was met with more hollering from the boys when she chugged it.

Jack grabbed her arm, and when she turned to face him he kissed her. Right in front of all his friends he was pressing their lips together and holding her with both hands on her face.

Once she got over the surprise, she kissed him back. They ignored the shouts to “get a room”.

\--

2AM found her cross-legged on the armrest of the sofa with a group of random people of whom she knew maybe half. They were playing a lame Who’s Most Likely To drinking game, but she hadn’t joined it, preferring to stick to water after the hit she’d taken from beer pong. Jack had chosen a low alcohol fruit beer, sat on the floor in between Josh and Mikey.

“Who’s most likely to beg a girl for anal?” Someone Sarah didn’t know asked.

There was some shouting and then pointing. Most fingers went to another person Sarah had never seen before, and he shrugged, laughing, and took a swig of his drink.

“Alright.” He said then, “Who’s most likely to become a 35-year-old fuckboy?”

Laughter ensued, fingers pointing at Jack.

“Jack will never settle. He’ll be sixty years old in his mansion with a harem.”

“You’re just jealous because I get more girls than you do!” Jack laughed. He gave in, putting the beer bottle to his lips. 

Sarah awkwardly shifted her glass between her hands. This is the universe telling you to get him out of your head, she tried to tell herself. But she wasn’t even convincing enough to sway her own heart.

\--

By half three things were dying down. There were people asleep on strange surfaces here and there, and some others were having quiet conversations on the sofa or at the dinner table. 

“Do you think Joe will mind if I sleep in his bed?” Sarah asked Jack, who was standing by the counter to pour himself some Ribena. 

“Go ahead. Mind if I join you, though?” He grinned at her.

“Feel free.” She winked, her head hazy but clear enough to know what his expression meant.

He abandoned his glass and followed her to the bedroom.

It was still empty, miraculously, and Jack locked the door behind them to make sure it would remain that way. The moment he turned around she was on him; her hands on his hips and her lips on his. He tasted like beer and was slower than she had grown used to, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

The drunk pair didn’t bother messing around for too long, stumbling to the bed within minutes and pulling on each other’s clothes soon after. 

“Joe’s going to hate us for this.” Jack breathed as he tossed his underwear onto the floor.

“Don’t care.” She responded, reaching her hand out to touch his cock. He groaned, lying back and closing his eyes.

“You think this shit is free?” She used her free hand to push his shoulder. “Come on.”

He rolled onto his side and pushed his hand into her underpants.

Neither of them lasted very long; they were too drunk and too horny. He turned onto his back just in time, coming on his own stomach, and she followed suit.

They lay side by side for a few minutes, catching their breath and struggling to stay awake, until Jack muttered, “Can I go to sleep like this or is that too gross?”

“Too gross.” She mumbled in reply. 

He made a dramatic sound and then got to his feet, stumbling off to the bathroom with his pants in hand.

While he was gone she put her underwear back on and crawled under the covers, relishing in the sudden warmth even though she hadn’t realised she’d been cold.

When he came back into the room he immediately dropped down onto the bed, relying on Sarah to pull the sheets over him, and closed his eyes. “Bye.”

She chuckled, “Bye. Talk to you later.”

“Yeah.”

They were quiet for a minute or two. Sarah tried to close her eyes and go to sleep but her mind was suddenly racing again; back in the moment where one of Jack’s friends said he’d never settle. He’d stay single forever.

“Hey, Jack?”

He groaned in response.

“Will you come play Dungeons and Dragons with me and my friends tomorrow?”

“The nerd game?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine. Let me sleep now.”

“Okay.” She brushed some hair out of his face and kissed his forehead.

“Bye. For real now.”

She laughed. “Bye Jack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is late due to the fact that I just finished writing it three minutes ago. I got caught up watching A Christmas Prince with my mum.. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	10. December 23 (Day Ten)

The alarm echoed through the room. It took a few seconds for Sarah to wake up enough to realise what was going on, and by then Jack had already pulled a pillow over his head. 

“It’s a quarter past ten.” She whispered in a hoarse voice.

“Tell me why I should give a fuck.” Jack responded, his voice muffled by the cushion.

“Dungeons and Dragons starts at eleven.”

“What?” He peeked out from his hiding place, revealing his sleepy eyes.

“I always play Dungeons and Dragons with a bunch of people on Saturday morning at eleven. You kind of said you’d come with last night.”

“I said that? Doesn’t sound like me.”

“So you’re not coming?”

“I don’t think drunk me realised this shit would be at eleven in the goddamn morning. But I’ll come.” He kicked off the covers and rolled out of bed, only just putting his feet under himself in time to stop from falling. 

They put on their clothes in silence, until Sarah noted that she needed some deodorant.

“I’m sure Joe’s got some.” Jack said, starting to rummage through drawers and pulling open his friend’s wardrobe. “Here we go.” He triumphantly held a bottle of Axe in the air and tossed it to her.

 

“It’ll have to do.”

\--

They parkoured over the people still asleep in the lounge to get to the kitchen, where they got themselves some bread. They were clearly the first ones up, going by the complete disaster scene that was the apartment, not looking like anyone bothered to even throw a few cups in the trash. Sarah absentmindedly did a bit of tidying while she ate her sandwich.

“If we leave now you might get a chance to put on a clean shirt before the game start.” Jack said, voice quiet to not disturb the sleepers.

She shoved the last bit of bread into her mouth and nodded. Jack the rest of his own in the trash, too hungover to be able to stomach much food. 

\--

Kailee seemed surprised when Sarah walked in the door, but she was even more surprised when a boy followed after her. “Well, hello!” She said cheerily, walking straight passed her best friend to greet the guy, dishevelled but good-looking in an effortless kind of way. 

“Hi, I’m Jack.”

“Ah yeah, Sarah’s mentioned you before, I think.” Kailee said casually. “Are you joining us for D and D today?”

“Suppose I am, if I can.”

“Sure, you’re totally welcome to play along. Have you played before?” When Jack shook his head she turned to Sarah, “Would you like to explain it to him or should I?”

“You go ahead, I’m going to freshen myself up a bit, if you don’t mind.”

Jack shot her a look of desperation but she gave him her sweetest smile and disappeared down the hall.

\--

In the ten minutes she had till the game would start she took the quickest shower of her life, threw on the first clothes she could find, and put some concealer on the bags under her eyes. She looked like she’d dressed for a day in rather than a day trying to impress a gorgeous guy, but right now he looked worse so she doubted he would care. 

When she entered the TV room he was sat on a sofa, leaned over a bunch of papers with a pen in his hand. He didn’t even look up when she sat down next to him, he was too focused on filling in his character sheet. 

“Our mage has arrived.” Kailee announced. “Let the games begin!”

Jack finished his character and held the paper up for Sarah to see, “Look. I’m Bazooka Johnson.” He said, seemingly very content with his own joke.

“I’m Selena, the group’s very own witch.”

“So, picking up where we left off last week: the group has just emerged from a cave and found out they’re in the middle of a forest. Everyone good?”

Some nodding and mumbles around the room encouraged Kailee to go on, “From one of the trees to the side, a figure jumps down. He tells you his name is Bazooka Johnson and he would like to join your party.”

“What has he got to offer?” One of the boys on the side of the room asked.

“Um…” Jack rumbled through his papers, “High perception? And animal handling?”

“We’re in a forest, there’s probably loads of animals.” A girl, Dana, said.

The others nodded their agreement and finally Dana said, “We’ll let him come with us. Welcome to the team, Bazooka.”

Jack grinned widely at her use of his dumb character name. “Thank you.”

\--

He started out a bit hesitant and reserved, but within the hour he was completely caught up in the game, even taking notes of people’s positions and character traits. He was a quick learner, too, soon knowing what the dice were for and when to throw one. 

Sarah couldn’t stop smiling when she looked at him. He had tired eyes, his hair was all over the place – even though he’d tried to get it into place with his hands multiple times-, and his clothes were wrinkly, but he looked positively beautiful. The concentration on his face and his genuine smile made up for everything that was a bit chaotic about him, and for once he looked calm and peaceful. 

She put her hand on his back and stroked in small circles, he gave her a quick smile in return but quickly went back to the game.

\--

“And that’s where we’ll end today, folks.” 

They stopped the game just after five in the afternoon that day and tidied up the materials. 

Jack was looking completely exhausted at this point, but also content as he neatly put all his papers in a folder. “You guys do this every Saturday?” He asked.

Sarah nodded.

“Can I join in again sometime?”

“Well, you’re part of our campaign now, so yeah, definitely come back next time.”

He smiled, “Don’t tell anyone, but I like your nerd game.”

“Yeah, I gathered that.” She said, laughing.

“Now, where’s your bed? I desperately need a nap.”

\--

They had dinner with Sarah’s housemates that evening and watched some episodes of Modern Family on Netflix in bed after, while they waited for the right time to go out with Jack’s friends. 

When they went out at midnight, they were both showered and Jack had borrowed a shirt from Nick for the night. Sarah had put on some proper makeup so she felt like herself again, and had pulled her dark hair back into a braid.

They met the boys at a club Sarah hadn’t been to before, where the loud music could be heard word for word from the queue outside. “It’s going to be a sick night, bro.” Mikey said excitedly.

“I’m not going to be too late, I’m still knackered from last night.” Jack responded.

“Yeah man, when I woke up you were gone and no one else knew where you and Sarah had gone.”

“We left early to meet with Sarah’s friends.”

“What for?” Mikey asked, raising his eyebrows.

“I played Dungeons and Dragons for the first time. An experience, that’s all I’m saying.”

Mikey laughed at that, “You’re joining the nerd crowd? Didn’t expect that from you, Randy.”

“Neither did I.”

\--

Sarah danced with Jack for a while, until he went to get a drink and didn’t come back. She didn’t blame him – it was hard to find anyone anywhere here- so she danced with Mikey for a while and then Josh. 

When she went to the bar to get a drink she found Jack, chatting to some girl. They were laughing, heads close together and both a drink in hand. Sarah knew she shouldn’t feel jealous, but she did. She most definitely did. She kind of hated him then, even.

He’d spent the day with her, getting to know her friends, watching TV in her bedroom, and overall doing things couples would do, but now he went and chatted up some other girl. Just when she was starting to believe he might actually like her.

A few yards to her right some conventionally attractive guy was ordering a drink; before she knew it Sarah was at his side, giving him her best smile. 

He bought her a drink and they sat on the bar stools chatting for a while, knees touching and hands casually touching. She didn’t care for him. Not in the slightest. But if Jack was going to get laid tonight then so was she; she wouldn’t let him ruin her night. 

\--

She danced with the guy – his name turned out to be Andrew- for an hour or so, even kissing him a few times, until he whispered in her ear, “Shall we take this somewhere more private?”

At those words everything stopped. Suddenly, Sarah wasn’t so sure about this thing anymore. She’d had plenty of one-night-stands before, but none when the boy she really wanted was in the same club, making out with some other girl. 

“Yeah, let me just go to the bathroom real quick.” She told Andrew, bopping the tip of his nose before she walked off.

Instead of to the restroom, she went to the exit, grabbing her coat at the cloakroom and stepping outside to breathe in the freezing December air. Sure, she felt bad for Andrew, but he was a good-looking guy. He’d get over it.

Zipping up her coat, she started the three mile walk back to her Hall.


	11. December 24 (Day Eleven)

Sarah spent the morning trying to put Jack out of her mind. She texted her mum which train home she would be taking, and after that started packing her suitcase, starting with her phone. 

Around noon, there was a knock on her door. “Come in.” She called.

Kailee peeked her head in, “Everything good here?”

“Yeah, why?”

“No one’s seen you yet today. I was just making sure you even came home last night.”

Sarah gave her a sour smile, “I did. I probably will be sleeping here every night for a while.”

Kailee shut the door behind her and sat down on Sarah’s bed, “What’s going on?”

“I think he slept with someone else last night.”

She didn’t need to explain whom she was talking about. Of course, Kailee knew. Her best friend got to her feet and enveloped her in a hug, “It’ll be fine. You’re the best he can get, if he doesn’t see that he’s not worth it. You can do better.”

“I know it’s dumb.” Sarah said. She lost her fight against the tears and cried, her face pressed into Kailee’s shoulder. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was just a bit of fun. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with him.”

“Shit happens, feelings are dumb.” Kailee agreed. “At least you’ll be in Reading for a bit, you can focus on your family without any reminders of him.”

“I guess so. I suppose I should tell him we’re better off as friends?”

“Don’t worry about that now, Sare. That’s a problem for after Christmas.”

“I really thought he liked me back. He came to Dungeons and Dragons, for fuck’s sake.”

Kailee couldn’t help but laugh at that, “D and D isn’t a horrible thing a guy needs to brave to get to your heart, you know. It’s a fun game.”

“I know, I know.”

\--

As her phone was at the bottom of her suitcase somewhere, Sarah kept herself occupied by playing Animal Crossing on her Nintendo DS. It wasn’t too long a train ride anyway; barely an hour and a half.

Her mum picked her up at the station, happily running to greet her daughter as though they hadn’t seen each other just a month before. Sarah appreciated the sentiment, especially glad to receive her mum’s hug today. Mothers always seemed to make everything better, even a heartbreak.

During the fifteen-minute car ride her mum filled her in on all the gossip from their neighbourhood; all the couple scandals from their block and all the kids Sarah went to school with were taken into account. Her mum was especially fond of keeping her up to date on Xander, her primary school crush, and Sofia, her primary school best friend, who ended up dating each other. They were still together.

And of course she asked the dreaded question. “Are you seeing anyone up in London?”

Sarah shook her head, “No, I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so? What does that mean?”

“It’s a long story, mum. I thought there was something but apparently he didn’t feel it. I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Oh, honey, that’s so sad, I’m so sorry. We’ll make this the best Christmas ever, okay? You won’t think about him even once.”

Sarah smiled weakly.

\--

When she dug up her phone from her suitcase to text Kailee she’d arrived safely, she had an unread message from Jack. She deleted it without reading it. 

\--

She spent Christmas Eve watching Home Alone with her parents and brother David, cuddled up under a blanket with hot chocolates and mince pies. After texting Kailee she had put her phone back in her suitcase, and she did not pick it up again for the rest of the night.


	12. December 25 (Day Twelve)

Sarah woke up when the family cat started meowing. She stirred, trying to roll over and go back to sleep, but Dennis wouldn’t give up. 

The cat hopped off the bed, walking to the tall windows and disappearing behind the curtain. When Sarah followed and pulled them open she immediately felt the cold radiating from the glass. Reading looked freezing cold, but snowless. It was quiet in the streets at seven on Christmas morning.

She picked Dennis up and carried him downstairs in her arms, holding him close to her chest to share their warmth, and put him down next to the breakfast bar. She was the first one up, so she got the cat his food and took her time in the bathroom to shower and put on makeup. 

When she was still the only one awake at half eight she went back into her bedroom and dug up her phone from her suitcase. She had a few Christmas wishes from earlier that morning and from the night before, but also one from Conor, of all people.

Conor: _Hey Sarah, I don’t wanna intrude, but did something happen between you and jack?_

Sarah: _Hey conor. Why do you ask?_

When he still hadn’t responded after she’d sent pretty much everyone in her contacts a ‘merry Christmas’, she put her phone in her pocket and took her laptop downstairs with her. Dennis had already settled on the sofa, knowing that that was the warmest place in the house right now, right next to the radiator. She picked up a blanket and wrapped it around herself, cosying up next to the cat.

She kept an eye on her phone while she rewatched some episodes of Scorpion, until David came downstairs and watched it with her.

Their parents were last, bounding down the stairs at ten, still in their pyjamas. Their father always insisted on getting a new pair of Christmas pyjamas each year, preferably a crazier one than last year. This year’s outfit was a full elf suit, including fluffy slippers. He looked positively ridiculous, but his happy grin made up for it. 

“Time for presents.” Her dad announced as David handed him a cup of tea.

Sarah put her laptop down, and as she went to put her phone on top of it she noticed the notification light. Conor had responded.

Conor: _He’s being grumpy af and told our mum love doesn’t exist lmao_

Sarah: _tbh I don’t know if something happened?? Im not sure whats going on between us anymore_

Conor: _can I call?_

“Sarah, presents.” David poked her side.

“Yeah, I’m coming.” Sarah said as she quickly sent Conor ‘later’.

They unwrapped the fancily packaged gifts one by one, taking turns. She received a puzzle book, a little silver charm for on her bracelet, and a Dungeons and Dragons book, each neatly wrapped in shimmering paper and decorated with a bow.

David was ecstatic with the new colouring pencils she had gotten them, as he had thought the specific metallic pencils he wanted were sold out everywhere, but he hadn’t taken into account that his meticulous planner of a sister had already bought them a month before.

“Alright, I’ll put the bread rolls in the oven. Who’s setting the table?” Her mum got to her feet, taking some of the wrapping paper with her to the kitchen to throw out. David followed her, and her dad got up too.

“Do you mind if I make a quick phone call?”

Her dad glanced at his watch, “Make it a quick one. We’ll have brunch in fifteen minutes or so.”

“That’ll be plenty.” She slipped into the garden with her pink socks on the cold tiles, and slid the glass door closed behind her.

Conor picked up on the second ring, “Hello?”

“Hey Conor, it’s Sarah.”

“Oh, hey.” 

She heard the noise in the background die down as he supposedly moved to a more quiet room.

“What’s going on?”

“To be real with you, Jack’s being a right dick.”

“What?”

“He was acting weird all day yesterday, too. I think I know why, though.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I asked him what the fuck his deal was this morning.”

“And what is it?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Someone saw you making out with some guy in that club Saturday night and it’s got him upside down.”

“I kissed a random guy because he was flirting with some chick!”

Conor laughed, “He told me about that too. Listen, my brother’s never been in love before and I think he’s a bit shaken up about it. He tried to sleep with some girl because he’s trying to take his mind of you. I tried telling him that if you feel the same there’s no need for him to get over you, but he’s being weird.”

“I do feel the same.” She said softly. It was weird to tell it to someone other than Kailee, but now that she had said it out loud she was sure it was true. She meant it.

“Can I tell this idiot that? His sulking is ruining Christmas.”

“Yes. Tell him to call me or something, okay?”

“Will do, thanks for saving Christmas.”

“No problem. Merry Christmas, Conor.”

“Merry Christmas, Sarah.”

\--

Jack didn’t call.

She had her phone in her lap during the entirety of the Christmas brunch, and then while they played Monopoly, but he never called.

She was pretty much ready to give up hope when she started Christmas dinner preparations at four. Her mum had her chopping vegetables and David sautéing some onions, when her brother, facing the driveway through the kitchen window, suddenly asked, “Are we expecting anyone?”

“I don’t think so.” Their mum responded, not looking up from where she was preparing dessert.

“It’s a chic car. I don’t think I even know people rich enough to own a car like that.”

Sarah’s heart jumped and she dropped her knife. “Jack.” She breathed when she caught side of the car.

“Excuse me?”

But she was out the door, walking onto the driveway still wiping her wet hands on her jeans.

The car door opened, and out stepped that boy that had messed things up so much for her.

“Merry Christmas.” He said weakly, but when he saw her smile his face lit up.

“Merry Christmas.” She responded. “I thought we were done.”

“So did I.” 

They fell into each other’s arms, each holding the other tightly.

“I can’t stay too long, I have to be home in time for Christmas dinner. But I got you something.”  
“What?” She let go of him, stepping back.

He leaned back into his car and held up a long, slender black box. 

“I got you this before I fucked everything up, but when Conor told me I still had a chance I had to bring you this. It’s only fair.”

He opened the box, revealing a thin silver necklace with a little ice-skate pendant. “It’s cheesy, I know.”

“It’s perfect.” She said, reaching out to run her finger over the cool metal.

He picked it up, “Can I put it on you?”

“Yes, please.” She turned around and moved her hair out of the way.

His fingertips brushed along her skin as he laid it around her neck. She shivered, only just now realising how cold the December air was against her exposed limbs.

“Can we please stop being Friends with Benefits?” She asked as she turned back around.

“Please.” He agreed.

She pulled him in for a kiss, ignoring her family watching them through the kitchen window and ignoring everything bad that had happened between them.

This moment made up for all the heartache the two of them had put each other through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys! Merry Christmas!!


End file.
